aschoolgirlcrush:

my mom just yelled “it’s called common sense” at my dog

(via pizza)


officalsquidward:

totally-not-superboy:

smallpox:

instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant

Are you a U.S. senator?

If you have sex with the lights off, the sperm won’t know where to go! And you won’t get pregnant

(via iodineoxygenuraniumafall)


vvhitehouse:

aneastcoastbreeze:

vvhitehouse:

advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

  • instant cute outfit with minimal effort
  • it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
  • sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
  • u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

Guys think they’re totally not cute lol

the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus

(via iodineoxygenuraniumafall)


leomanaids:

bitchcraftandwiggatry:

dirudo:

"I’m not rich"

image

"But I have a big dick"

image

"I don’t have a big dick"

image

"But I am rich"

image

"I’m rich"

image

"And I have a big dick"

image

(via pizza)


sgtbcrnes:

all I want from next season is sam carrying around a spray bottle full of holy water to keep demon dean from misbehaving

(via iodineoxygenuraniumafall)


pokerwithplato:

kanyewesticle:

I’m speechless.

Wow

pokerwithplato:

kanyewesticle:

I’m speechless.

Wow

(via iodineoxygenuraniumafall)


gobbydick:

tinaturnip:

sneakymonster:

you are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen.

that is a raccoon

No its the dancing queen dont be rude

gobbydick:

tinaturnip:

sneakymonster:

you are the dancing queen, young and sweet only seventeen.

that is a raccoon

No its the dancing queen dont be rude

(via thefaultinourchickennuggets)


(via pizza)


britishbennyc:

lol that blenderlid cucumberpack kid

image

i wonder what hell be doing in 20 yea…

image

woAH WHAT TEHH F CUKA SD SJDLBALDBCL

(via painlock)